Who are you?
I was waiting for my train to Budapest from Timisoara Nord.
It was a cold evening, and I was moving my body to warm myself. This made the lady next to me chuckled.
"Are you a tourist?" She asked.
Later on I learned shes a doctor in a small town called Arad. Initially she talked about how the winter causing more kids to be admitted in the paeds ward and how tiring it is to hop on a train everyday for work. Then she randomly talked about her boyfriend and also her favourite cafe in Italy. It was a nice small talk until she decided to talk about religion.
This is the part where I am NOT PROUD of myself.
A day earlier, I had a weird encounter with a local from Timisoara. He told me most Romanians didnt like muslims because Timisoara was once invaded by the Ottoman Empire. And many other silly reasons.
So when the lady asked whats my religion, I told her I am an agnostic.
Again, NOT PROUD.
I guess I was freaking out. I mean, what if she hated me? and what if Im going to end up in a hateful conversation again! Some of you are probably wondering, so what if she hated you? Shes just a stranger! But the earlier encounter really made me feel uncomfortable telling people that Im a muslim.
And what she said next felt like a pang.
"Im thinking of converting to Islam"
At this moment, I was like...God, is this a test for me???
She learned about Islam by reading the Quran and she kept on listing reasons why she really loves Islam. One of her reasons is she likes saying Lailahaillallah because it makes her really calm all the time.
I was really embarassed and disappointed, for not being brave enough to be myself just because of ONE terrible person.
Have you ever been in my position?
Where you feel uncomfortable telling people who you really are?